Salam Sayang

Assalamualaikum. Hai. Hello. Anyong.

"Even if a person is given the whole world and the between, its still do not enough to fulfill his/her emptiness"

Teringat quote ni tetibe.

Frankly speaking, i always feel empty. Then bila aku terbaca quote ni, aku boleh link very much with myself. Dalam diri kita, kita selalu rasa nak benda ni, nak benda tu kan. Selalu tak cukup dan selalu nak lagi. Tapi sebenarnya bila kita dah dapat pon benda yang kita desire tu sebenarnya, it will still not enough for us.

Apa orang melayu selalu kata tu?? Tak gheti bersyukur?? Haa yang tu lah.

*Syukur Malaysia masih aman *

Contohnya, orang laki kalau mula-mula kawin, you jelah satu satunye untuk i. laut api, onak duri sanggup renangi. tapi bila dah dapat, bini dah mula bagi anak, dah kurang cun, lemak dah bertambah. Mula nak pasang duaa kann(sorry man, it just an example, i know not everyone same)

Bila orang kaya yang dah ada rumah elok, kete elok nak pulak pangkat dan jawatan yang tinggi tinggi kat syarikat.

Because it is never enough, specially when it comes to money and women (not all same ehem)

So so so... what is this all about sebenarnya??

Penah dengar tak cerita Neelofa? Ala artis yang muke macam aku tuu. Pemess tuu

Alhamdulillah sekarang dia dah bertudung. Penah dengar tak story hijrah dia? She's actually was searching. She said she had everything, like financially stable etc ect, but still she felt very empty on the inside. And to fulfill the emptiness, she was searching until she slowly started to attend majlis majlis ilmu. But at that time, dia masih tak merubah her appearance yet. Sampailah satu ketika, dia berasa betul-betul terpanggil untuk mengenakan hijab. And she did despite all the people's talk. Now she is still istiqamah dan kita doakan kita semua (aku, Neelofa, semua) sentiasa diberi hidayah oleh Allah SWT. Aminnn. Dia seperti sudah berjumpa dengan her inner self.

For my case pulak, aku macam/bajet tahu apa sebenarnya yang boleh fulfill my emptiness tapi just cannot executed it betul betul.

Its hard i would say.

Dear myself, plis mujahadah. You know who you should be return to and who will give you truly happiness.

It's Him.

inspiring

in silence, i cry

in laughters, it pain

in smile, i crack

my heart

rythm

melody

who would understand?

He does

words don't match

silence language

deepen 

Pain

Assalamualaikum wbt

Time passes with a hope the scar would heal

I always believe everything happens for reasons

Why I'm here

Why this and that happen to me

There are always a reasons

But sometimes tears wouldn't stop flowing

Sometimes things feel harder

To whom I want to share my sadness

I feel alone

Unbearable

Things are getting better

Mixed of things

Makes me sometime forget what is what

That I'm in delusional that I'm ok

But u know what

I think I'm not

Dear myself, Allah is there

He is there

Ketandusan makanan rohani

Assamulaikum

:(

Kawan kawan perasan tak saya makin tak banyak gi majlis majlis ilmu?

Dah lama tak berqasidah memuji Nabi?

Semakin banyak melagha dengan benda yang lagha lagha?

:(

Saya perasan.

Allah.

Nastagrhfirullah.

Just be Yourself

Assalamulaikum

Sebenarnya, aku tengah study instrument ni wahaha. Chop jap ek. Rase nak menulis :P

Kita semua ini ada cap jari yang berbeza kan dari satu sama lain. Sorang pon tak sama cap jari dia.

That's mean Allah memang ciptakan setiap individu tu berbeza.

With different characteristics, different personality

You don't need to be someone else.

Kadang-kadang ada orang rasa rendah diri diri dia macam gini, macam gitu. Which sebenarnya dia takut herself will not be accepted by the crowd. So she tend to follow others which she thinks, perangai yang everybody pleased. (He, in the case of berader, heh)

Example:

Situasi: Meeting program

A: Okay jom kita taaruf dulu. Just name, course and post.

B: Saya Amir, Medic 2nd year, Prep & Tech

C: Saya Wani, Engine 2nd year, Special Task

D: aik diorang ni, orang suruh gitaw nama, kos dengan post je. siap gitaw year sekali(dalam hati)

E: Zulfahmi, Biotech 3rd year, Treasurer


(tiba giliran D)

D: err, Zulaika, Dentist 3rd year, Pub & Pro

Haa, tengok! She tend to do what most people do.

Sama jugak dalam keadaan yang macam, "okay semua kena bagi ucapan!"

Situasi itu akan buat orang fikir, ha aku kena cakap macam ni supaya macam ni..

Bila jadi macam tu, seseorang dah tak jadi diri dia sendiri dah

My point is, situasi di mana someone try to make others talking in order to test her/his ability on something is not effective. Seriously. Just believe in one's potential.  Everybody has their own potential. It is just, it's not same for everyone. Think again, why need to be same?

We dont need second Siti Nur Haliza in Malaysia. Kalau ada pon orang nak tiru jadi macam Siti, akhirnya dia akan dicemuh saja because dia tak ada originality.

So apa yang perlu ialah to create that selesa zone, where everybody can be their self. No need to create environment which, "lets see which one of you is better". Nope, i really do not think it is effective. Either as a leader, or as a teacher, or as a faci or as a tuto or anything else it could be.

I've been in one programme, which i rate it as a 5 star programme.

Programme tu program motivasi, which i could say 95% participants responds to the speaker willingly. I mean the speaker able to make 95% of the audience to respond, (either answer his questions or participating) whole-heartedly.

Yeah, he use system giving star to yourself. Sape sape yang angkat tangan,bangun dan jawab soalan boleh dapat star. Dengar macam cliche and kanak kanak punya je kan, tapi percaya atau tidak, memang semua berebut-rebut nak angkat tangan sebab nak dapat bintang. Because it is fun. He doesnt give any pressure to the audience, making them feel very comfortable in that programme.

Biasanya lah kan, spekaer punyalah payah nak dapat respond dari audience. Sampai ada yang nak kena tawarkan duit lah, untuk orang responds. But yang ni, he just use star system, tak keluar duit satu sen pon. Tapi orang berebut-rebut nak participate. Woahh, debaak. Serious.

So just eliminate the norm of "compete tak kena tempat" style. It despise me.

By the way, kita pon harus stop judging people. It is not very healthy ;P

Tu je lah stakat ni, nak sambung study. Hehe. Dada.

Hajat tak kesampaian

Assalamualaikum

*sengih

Mood tak okay sebenarnya hari ini, jadi sengih dengan harapan dapat menceriakan diri

Aku tadi lama bertelaku di atas tikar sejadah. Dalam hati berbisik,

"Ya Allah aku redha ya Allah. Aku redha aku tak dapat pergi kinabalu"

Sambil air mata merembes keluar.

Bukan apa, aku touching sangat tu sebab banyak sangat apa yang aku plan tak jadi baru-baru ni. Dan ianya berturut-turut. Keinginan aku untuk pergi bukan calang calang bulu ayam tapi aku tersangat ingin pergi. Di mana kesungguhan aku tu macam emm macam emm, macam aku sanggup tak tengok One Piece. Ha! Nampak tak  betapa bersungguhnya aku. Hmmm :'(

Mula mula program Pulau Mabul. Masha Allah, kiteorang siap nak gi Gombak dah masa dekat dekat nak raya haji hari tu. Sebab program tu collab dengan budak Gamis Gombak. Tiba tiba kereta pulak rosak dalam perjalanan. Terpaksa cancel meeting kiteorang. Even though things not went very well tapi progress nya tetap ada. Dekat dekat nak beli tiket tu, tiba tiba aku dapat tahu yang dean kulliyyah reject kiteorang punya proposal gara gara collab dengan Gamis. Politik things. Seriously aku tak tahu langsung yang Gamis tu ada kaitan dengan parti opposisi. Kalau aku tahu, memang lah aku tak letak dalam proposal sah sah tak kan dapat approval punya. Tapi benda dah jadi, siries of events lepas tu ada banyak salah faham. Sampai aku dah macam, okay whatever, i'm done with this.

Then come program hiking plus community service ke Gunung Kinabalu ni. Ya Allah, nak sangat pergi, You know what, this isn't really my program. Jadinya my seat to go to this trip wasn't as secured as Pulau Mabul sebab Pulau Mabul memang program kami. Then this cross my mind,

"Kalau Allah dah memang tetapkan aku pergi, mesti aku dapat tempat gi KK tu. Toksah risau lah sazi"

Then, i really got the place as a participants. I'm excited! But then, bila aku call mak aku, my mum doesn't give her permission. Pulakk. I reallyy tak expect yang mak aku tak bagi kebenaran. Masa tu aku rasa macam simen lantai bangunann jatuh atas aku. Fuh, berat nak terima.

Mak: Try acik fikir, sebelum ni mak lepas je acik nak join program apa pun. Tapi kali ni mak rasa tak sedap. Tak yah dulu lah cik.

Aku: .....

Terpaksalah aku batalkan hasrat aku untuk sampai ke KK :(

Yang jadi touching tu tadi sebab tambah aku teringat yang..

Mak aku jugak yang tak bagi aku sambung belajar oversea dulu :(:(

Tapi bila fikir fikir balik, bukan mak yang tak bagi aku pergi sebenarnya tapi Allah. Memang Dia dah atur macam tu.

"Ya Allah, aku redha," *sambil hingus keluar

Ada benda lain yang Dia nak bagi kat aku. Ada lah tu. Lebih baik lagi yang pasti

"Ya Allah, aku redha," *kesat lebihan air mata

Ya! Ada benda lain yang Allah nak bagi..

"Ya Allah, aku redha"

Senyum :)

Dada, bye.